- Fifth Month 02/09/10 to 03/09/10: even bigger belly, baby's gender revealed and a little about someone that changed me forever...
Hey everyone! This month has been quite a ride. I've been having lots of insomnia, which is completely new to me since I've always been a very good sleeper. The biggest event this month: we found out we're having A GIRL! Yes! Another girl! I cannot begin to tell you how happy I am. Sure, in the beginning I had a "feeling" it was a boy, but two girls is a dream come true! I have a sister, and I know how precious it is to have that kind of friendship and connection. My sister and I have an awesome relationship and we are very, very close. I already find myself daydreaming about Lila and her little sister playing together, growing up together, getting in trouble together and fighting (my sister and I did a lot of that, too...LOL) but most importantly, how close they'll be. We ended up opening the infamous envelope on February 13th. We had the family together and Lila was the one that actually pulled out the post-it note from inside the envelope. Funny note: Hubby here wanted to find out so badly that he tried holding the envelope in the light to see through it and he couldn't see it. Well, we know why. The ultrasound technician wrote "girl" with a yellow marker, on a yellow post-it note! LOL I guess she knew he'd try that!
My belly is growing rapidly and our little girl is kicking me hard. I did notice her kicks her sort of weird and mostly "downward". I wasn't surprised when they told me on this month's ultrasound that she's breech. They said 97% of babies turn to the "right" position so I'm already praying hard for that. I cannot imagine myself having a c-section. It's not because I'm afraid or anything like that. I'm just worried about the pain and prolonged healing time, when I already have Lila to care for and don't have much help from family. My mom works a lot, my sister has her two kids and my mother-in-law already helps my sister-in-law who also has two kids. I guess whatever happens, we'll deal with it. I'm trying not to worry about it just yet...too soon! The funny thing about this ultrasound is that I asked the ultrasound technician to show me that it is indeed a girl (when it comes to these things, I need to see it to believe it) and to my surprise she said she couldn't confirm because the umbilical cord is between her legs. I felt that, since my big scan was at 17 weeks, it was early too to be sure of the baby's gender. I'm pretty convinced it is a girl but I just want to see it, you know what I mean? My next ultrasound is on the 30th so they'll check it again then.
EMOTIONS: the highlight of this month for me was the fact that I "met" a 2 year-old little girl named Layla Grace who lives in Texas. I found her through a store on Facebook, which I'm a fan of, and they were donating $1 for each new fan to this little girl that has neuroblastoma stage 4 and is in her last days. If you want to read her story, and I think you should, check out http://www.laylagrace.org/. Her parents also post updates on Twitter. Check out http://twitter.com/laylagrace. Her story changed my life forever. I believe I'll never, ever, ever forget her. She showed me how selfish I was being...She made me appreciate my life more, the health of my loved ones, and my daughter even more so. I find myself praying for her as if she were my own daughter. I wake up and go to sleep thinking about her. I lay awake in the middle of the night and all I can think of is her and her little face...her little body and how strong this little girl is. I think about how I've been taking so many things for granted...how I complain about little things that are just so petty. I feel I know her just by reading up on how she's strugling to fight this cancer. Her doctors gave her weeks to live and she's still hanging on. Her parents are watching as their daughter suffers and I cannot imagine how they must feel... I assume they feel useless, helpless, sad, angry, devastated, probably because that's how I'd feel. Today I read that her mom tried to hold Layla and she cried because her body hurts from all the tumors and the fact that she's so skinny from not eating... imagine not being able to hold your own child, knowing she's suffering! THIS MADE ME UNDERSTAND THE LOVE OF GOD EVEN MORE. God gave His Son for me. He, too, watched as His Son died. Jesus endured all the pain for every illness that exists. The pain Layla is feeling is very familiar to Jesus because He felt that on the cross. When you read Layla's parents' posts, they are at such peace. That peace can only come from one place: GOD. They are so grateful for each moment they spend with Layla and they make the best out of them. In the midst of all this suffering they remain positive. They are truly an inspiration and an example to be followed of faith, strength and grattitude. I know the God I serve can heal Layla. I pray he will touch her body and make those tumors fade away. I pray that her parents will wake up one day to Layla sitting up in bed saying "mommy, daddy, I'm hungry" (she hasn't eaten in over two weeks and is too week to lift up her head). My Jesus can heal the sick, He can raise the dead. NOTHING is impossible to the God I serve. But as He Himself teaches us to pray: " your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven". God has a plan and no matter the outcome, I am sure, Layla has changed the lives of so many people on this earth forever. Mine is one. If you're reading this, I urge you to pray for them. I urge you to appreciate the little things in life which sometimes go by unnoticed because we're too focused on the "big" things. I urge you to be more appreciative of the blessings you have. I urge you to hug your loved ones more, let go of the petty things we make out to be so "valuable", and to be thankful for each moment, no matter how "bad" it may seem. Worry less. Enjoy more. Forgive more. Bless more. Give more. Pray more. Love more.
God bless us with a thankful heart.... and may He bless Layla Grace and her beautiful family always.
